


mccree & genji go to dennys and fall madly in love

by fayfi13



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, crackfic, i hate myself so much, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 16:21:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8379160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fayfi13/pseuds/fayfi13
Summary: mccree finds a sexy man at gibraltar. little does he know they are soulmates.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is, by far, the most awful thing I have ever written.
> 
> This started as a joke and it snowballed into. This. I regret everything and I am deeply sorry to those of you that came here wanting a quality McGenji fic, because this is not it. 
> 
> I actually love McGenji and I would one day like to write a serious fic for these two, because they deserve better than this.
> 
> That being said, I hope this makes some of you laugh. Please enjoy.
> 
> (Ginger, I love you, this one's for you)

mccree was chilling in watchpoint gibraltar when the sun shined in his mceyes. “What the heckening!” he yelled. “I am being the blinded!”

He turned to stare directly at the thing that was giving him the blinding and he realized ethat it was someone’s shiny ass. “Oh dam ok hello” mccree mcyodeled.

He sauntered over to the man who was meditating over the sea like a glorious sexy toaster. “Whats yer name darlin”

The man turned to look at the cowman with confusion. “Helo i am genji shimada who r u i am out here trying to get my inner peace on”

“Well i was out here trying to enjoy this fine sunny day when i saw ur fine cyborg ass” mccree winked and tilted his hat respectfully. “My name is jesse mccree” (A/N u should not hit on strangers in this way it is very rude but this is a horrible fanfic and mccree tilted his hat respectfully so its all good) 

Genji blushed at the cowdudes flirtatious words. “o cowboi u are certaintly a charmer. Would u like to meditate with me”

Mccree sat down next to gonjo. “I am not the meditating type but i will keep u company bootiful”

“U r sweet” ganji resumed his meditating. Mccree got twitchy. He wanted to touch the booty so bad, but he did not want to disturb genjie. Eventually he slowly reached over. Should he touch the booty. Should he not. What was a cowman 2 do.

“Can i help u.” mccree let out  a scream when genji turned 2 face him.

“I thought ur eyes were closed!” mcree cried, covering his face with his hat in shame.

“U cant even see my eyes. Why would u assume tht.” genji seemed amused at jesses antics.

“Ok, to be honest, u are quite tempting mr. shimadoujin”

“Its shimada” gengi replied.

“Right srry. Shimador.” mccree apologised. “Anyway i would like 2 take u on a hot date. What do u say.”

“Mm. ok. It might be fun.” genji agreed and stood up. 

Mccree was faced with genjis booty straight on. He felt the blessing of a thousand angels. “God bless america”

“Did u say smthng” genji asked

“No nothin ok lets go to my favorite breakfast place, dennys” mccree mcsaid.

“But its 3 pm” gonrnji said.

“Time is an illusion. Breakfast all day. America land of hte free” mccree shouted. in the distance, the star spangled banner began 2 play and an eagle cawed. 

“What to fuck?” Geanje looked around, confuesd. “How did u do that”

“Idk what ur talking about lets go to dennys now” mccree grabbed genaiji by the hand and took him away. 

When they arrived at the dennys mccree opened the car door for genji. “Here u go darlin”

“Idk how we drove from gibraltar to la but im not gunna question it” genji shrugged and took mccrees hand to exit the vehicle.

“Its not plot relevant so we can ignore it” mccree pulled genji out of hte car and dipped him. “R u wooed yet handsome man”

“U havent even bought me breakfast yet. First i eat, then we talk”

“Fair enough”  mccree put his arm around genju’s shoulder and walked in with him. 

Once they were inside, reaper greeted them with an apron on. “Hi welcom to dennys- HEY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT R U DOIN HERE”

“Trying to take my bf out on a nice date. Chill” mccre mcrolled his eyes at the stupid question.

“Why would u come to where i work tho.” reaper was pissed.

“Um where else am i gunna get a fuckin grand slamwich” 

“Any other dennys in the world” reppir glared at him

Genju got between them. “Hey man i just wanna go on a date with the sexy cowboy”

“U think im sexy?” mccree mcgasped. 

“We talk when i get my food, jesse!” genji crossed his arms. Mccree pulled his gun on reaper.

“U seat us or u get it”

“Im literally already dead but whatever i guess ill seat u” reapre sighed and brought them to an empty booth.

“Do u know what u want sweet thang” mccree asked gangi.

“No ive literally never been here before what do u recommend” genji turned to look the bearded man in the face. He was pretty hadsome, he had to admit. He’d ride that cowboy.

Mccree replied but genji was zonin out thinkin bout that cowboi dick. “Uh sorry whatd u say” 

“I said. Every time i come here. I get 8 grand slamwiches.” mccree announced proudly.

“What the hell why eight” geankji questioned questionaginly.

“I rlly like grand slamwiches, genji shimada.” mccree looked deeply into his eyes. Genji felt the doki doki. Damn. he was gettin the hots for this hairy cowman. 

“Helo can i take ur order” repair was back. He had a notepad in his apron. “Mccree probably wants his stupid fuckin grand slamwiches but what would u like”

“Um i guess ill try a grand slamwich” genji said 

“What the fuck is wrong with you people” repaper cried and went to the kitchen to deliver their order.

“Anyway, now that we have ordered our food, lets get 2 know each other” mccree leaned in towards genji. Genji blushed but u couldnt tell bc mask.

“Well i have a cool ass sword u wanna see it” genjio pulled out his sword.

“Holy fuckc. That is a cool ass sword. I have a cool gun” mccree put his gun on the table.

“Jesse… i think. We are soulmates.” genji gasped. He held jesses hands. They fit perfectly together.  Because they are hands and they do the interlocky thing.

“I knew it from the moment i saw u, digiornji.” mccree lifted his hand and kissed it. 

“No fucking in dennys” reaper said over the loudspeaker.

“Fuk off cockblock” mccree yelled back. He pulled genju into his lap. “Ur just mad u didnt pick up a sexy cyborg ninja in gibraltar two hours ago” 

Repaer came back out “here are ur fuckin grand slamwiches i hate you all”

Genji picked up his grand slamwich but then remembered he couldnt rlly eat. “Jesse i forgot i cant eat this”

Mccree looked at genji, then began to openly weep. “The love of my life cannot eat grand slamwiches…. This truly is a cruel world.” 

Genji held jesses face. “Jesse… its ok. I can get over the pain of not being able to eat grand slamwiches… bc i have you now.” 

Jesse looked at geneioji. “You are so beautifufl… i am so lucky” they passionately kissed. (A/N i didnt figure out how they should kiss with the mask so im just gonna pretend its not there plot hole where)

“REaPER!! I take my grand slamwiches… TO GO. I must show my man the city.”

“Good gtfo” reaper threw his 9 grand slamwiches in a box and pushed them out the door. 

 

They were riding down the highway in a convertible. Genjis lil head ribbon thingy flowed gracefully in the wind. They were holding hands. 

“Jeesse… where r we goin??” genji asked, leanin g in to give his bf a kiss.

“We r goin to the beach. I need to prove my love to u,” mccree replied.

“What do u mean?” genaji looked at him, confusion.

“I need u to show u how much i love u…” mccree said enigmatically.

“As long as we r together it is ok.” genji wrapped his arm around his lover and took a nap.

Wen he woke up they were at a beach. “Jesse its beautiful but why are we here”

“Gonje… we must fight. I must prove to u… that my love is stronger.”

“But that is wrong… bc i love u more.” genji stared at him. “I will fight to prove my love.” 

“Ok here i bought some pool noodles were gonna duke it out with these” jesse handed him a pool noolde. 

“Ur on. I have the advantage. I fight with a sword. U just use ur gun.” genji got ready 2 fight.

“My love for u will not be beaten.” mccree swung his noodle around. It was supposed to be threatening but genji thought it was cute.

The fight begun. It took 14 hours but in the end, genji prevailed. Mccree lay on the sand, defeated. “Dam u, sexy ninja man.” genjau came and lay next to him. 

“Does this mean i love u more?” ganji asked.

“Not a chance.” mccree said. “Just means u are better with pool noodles.”

“Im good with other noodles too.” genju winked. 

Mccree sat up, revitalized. “Can u even do the sex????”

“Ya lol” ganerji said.

“Hell yeah fuckin sweet” mccree pulled gaenji towards him. He put the thing in the thing and it was a grand ol time. 

Afterwards they were both sweaty and tired. “Genjih… i love you” mccree said, caressing the other man

“I love you too, jesse” genji said. They kissed again. “I am so glad you came and talked to me that day.”

“It was yesterday. Im rlly glad i did too. I was always meant to be with u” mccree smiled gently at genij.


End file.
